In the Light of her problems

I must thank Carolyn for sharing with us her problems during the last OCF meeting. It really put several things in perspective.

First was that her problem really dwarfed most of our problems. Here we are, worrying about our entry to uni, worrying about our exams, worrying about our relationships, while there is a man worrying about losing his sight. No offense Carolyn, but I dare to say that your father in some way has taken his gift of sight for granted. Perhaps we should slow down with our so called "goals" in life, lessen the worries and take time to appreciate what we already have. Some people study while they eat. Some people study while they shit. Perhaps we should put our books down and focus on appreciating the sensations coming from our tastebuds and the sensation we get from letting go of waste before we lose these simple yet wonderful gifts of nature.

That night I prayed hard for Carolyn's father. It was the hardest prayer I have ever made and I never knew that it could be that exhausting. The next day, at Uni, I was approached by this guy from an animal rights activist group. He showed me pictures of how animals are being tortured for sport, how they suffer for our culinary pleasures, and how they suffer for our traditions. Then it occured to me how much pain is there in this world. I know Buddha teaches that life is suffering, but it was at that moment when I realised the scale of suffering that occur across the globe. So what do I do about it? Is there anything I can do about it? Will it make a difference?
Should I exhaust myself and pray and try to help all these beings in need? Well, I once told myself that although the parts we play for the world are often insignificant, we must still accomplish them. Otherwise, there might be no more world...

As I type this, the organs within my rib-cage are drowning with guilt because I realised that my own father once suffered from a cataract problem. But I didn't worry, I didn't pray, I didn't put much effort in helping him shoulder the burden. What should I blame? My immaturity? My ignorance? My lack of empathy? Sigh... All I can do now is be thankful that I have become aware of this, and shall take steps to ammend my character. It also seems that I owe my father an apology...

Thanks Carolyn for the light...